Wahoo Wire

Courtesy of nostate.com

A new semester has started. A semester of change, confusion, and hope. People know the change that I speak of: the switch to the new SIS system. For first-years who did not know the ways of the old system, it was a magically designed platform with no faults. And the administration knows how wonderful the old system worked, and how everyone knew where to go and what to do.

President Obama even acknowledged this on the campaign trail. Said Obama last October in the final debate, “I will make Washington as efficient and useful as the current ISIS system at Virginia.” This has left many bright minds to ponder, “who proposed this change, and why?”

Many theories have gone around, with some of the more ridiculous including, “the I.T. people probably,” and, “it makes all the systems more uniform.” Rubbish.

You want to know who made this decision? It was Al Groh (those who don’t know who this is should be kicked out for an honor violation), and it makes sense when you think about it.

Here’s my logic: he’s on the hot seat this year, and by creating a distraction that is more detrimental to the students’ livelihoods than the football team having a losing season, then maybe he won’t lose his job. Does this make sense? Of course it does. I said it, so it must make sense. Just as much sense as hiring your son as Offensive Coordinator.

And speaking of confusion, Mike Groh apparently is now an assistant coach at the University of Alabama. Technically, he’s a graduate assistant and enrolled in classes to receive his masters in Footballology in the spring (This graduate program is offered at many SEC and Big 12 South schools). If you were worried about his low pay at such a position, no need. Fortunately, we’re still paying him though this year.

When asked about the hire, Nick Saban (Alabama’s head coach) explained, “Our first game of the season is against Virginia Tech, and if we have someone on our staff like Mike who has coached against them and lost to them before, many many times, then we’ll know exactly what not to do.”

He makes a good point, as Groh has an impeccable record as Offensive Coordinator against VaTech, a whopping 0-3 record (not to mention a 1-7 record in all his years on staff). Saban added, “With his help, we should roll over the Hokies [who are terribly overrated and always underachieve when ranked in the preseason top 10.]”

To Mike Groh’s credit though, he did introduce Vic Hall to the quarterback position in last year’s finale in Blacksburg, which proved quite effective throughout the game. There might be some out there who are wondering, “Why didn’t we use Hall earlier in his career? After all, he rewrote the quarterback record books for Virginia high schools without even playing the second half in most games his senior year.”

To answer these simple-minded individuals, the reason is that Mike and Al had planned on saving him until the last game of his 3rd year. By switching Hall to a completely different position on the opposite side of the ball, and then giving him a few years to forget all of his immediate knowledge about playing quarterback, they knew that it would catch Virginia Tech completely off guard when they switched him back to quarterback in his 3rd year after only a week of practice. Talk about forward thinking! Of course, the typical armchair genius wouldn’t understand this concept.

Fans that are unhappy with that answer can at least be hopeful this season, since Virginia will have more options on the table for quarterback. Vic Hall will be in use, along with Jameel Sewell and possibly Marc Verica. Although many were disgruntled with our season last year with Verica at the helm, the fact that he came in mid-season, amid a smoky situation with the previous quarterback, and won 4 games against quality opponents (at Georgia Tech, North Carolina in OT) is pretty good.

The new offensive system, installed by a guy who coached with Urban Meyer, will give a boost to our production. Sure, Brandon was just relieved of his duties as head coach at Bowling Green, but sometimes great coordinators are mediocre head coaches (sound like anyone?). And with Ron Prince coming back (in similar fashion as Brandon), our special teams will be more than prepared and reportedly more aggressive as well (a term other than beamerball needs to be implemented…ImtheJuggernautb*#$%ball, perhaps?).

Plus, we’ve got a new ‘Hoo Vision that should make games more enjoyable to watch…or more painful depending on how the season goes. But I’m an optimist, so I’m going to say we’ll win seven games this year. And we’ll beat Virginia Tech in the finale.

Think I’m crazy?

You’re damn right. Go Wahoos.