Wahoo Wire

Photo Courtesy Jaryd Waegerle, Wahoo Wire

NCAA Allegations and Charges affect UVA Football’s poor ACC play

Several issues surfaced shortly after the VMI game. First, missing paperwork at the NCAA office was traced back to London’s office. Chris Long resumes his NFL play as he leaves Charlottesville for the last time. London’s full role as Player-Coach was found in violation of NCAA rules, limiting London to once again, standing on the sidelines. With both of these losses off the field, the team struggled to adjust its practice and play, with its top three players (London, Long, and Smith) now absent from the field. Unfortunately, this came at the worst time for the Cavaliers, who began their ACC play immediately after these losses. When asked to comment, London refused to respond, instead muttering under his breath something about suing his doppelganger, previously used to play him on the sideline, for identity theft.

Coach London presses for silence of the press on a host of issues, explaining Here’s How Rumors Get Started‘s 3-week silence

After these allegations, Coach London realized that many of his secrets were being leaked by student-run media sources. After a brief conversation with Littlepage about how to better protect his secrets, Littlepage simply replied that he would “take care of it.” With his usual disregard for the first amendment (see: sign ban), Littlepage silenced several student run media outlets, with threats of expulsion from school.

E. Michigan Coach receives penalty while attempting to bribe only honest ref in the ACC

A lot of things did not work out for Eastern Michigan last weekend. Most significantly their head coach’s flagrant attempt at bribing the referee. To be fair, he is the only referee currently not taking bribes. Earlier that game even, the coach was able to pay off another referee to call a touchdown incomplete. London has refused to take part is such a practice that has become common in the ACC, stating that while he may “stretch a rule here or there, the refs are bad enough at their job without someone trying to influence their calls.”

Therapy effective for UVa kickers, Georgia Tech provides closure

Uva’s kicking squad has seemed to finally come around. The team therapist reports huge progress, sighting the Georgia Tech game as the final element of closure, when the team as a whole rallied openly against their previous coach, and banded together as survivors of a darker time. The group therapy seemed to work, as the team improved from making 2 out of 7 field goals in their first 5 games, to making 3 out of 3 since facing Al Groh in Atlanta.

“The Wave” still making circles around Scott Stadium, as students brave the weather, missing classes, and the janitorial staff; to prove that there can be some sort of long-term success in our football stadium.

With a record low attendance, and a record shattering low level of interest in the game, the crowd rallied in the beginning of the fourth quarter, as the student section began exploding with cheers and applause. It was not the team, they were in a huddle on the fifty yard line. It was not from some announcement about UVa success “off-the-field.” The student section had attempted the wave, and when seeing a dozen people on the other side of the stadium rise from their seats; erupted into applause. As scattered individuals participated around the stadium, the wave, now nothing more than the smallest ripple, reached the student section. The students once again rose from their seat, with a participation percentage more than double Verica’s completion rate, and this time, they were noticed. The entire stadium rose, roaring to its feet, with yelling and screaming and applause; but the applause wasn’t for the team, it was for us, the crowd, doing something as a crowd. The utter disinterest in the game continued around and around the stadium, and even when the game was over, the crowd-fans refused to abandon their wave, remaining in the stadium. Despite pleas from UVa staff, and repeated attempts from the announcer, they remained, the dedicated few, who want to prove to the world that Scott Stadium can have a long standing tradition of success. So go ahead and neglect your education, hop a fence or two, and continue the wave with the rest of the die-hard crowd-fans.

In other news…

Tim Smith’s surgery successful, now is 61% metal, laments that he “will never get to fly on a plane again.”

Keith Payne reacts to nickname “Payne Train,” announces angrily during press conference that he would like to remind everyone that his father was actually an 18-Wheeler, and not a train.

London’s request to organize a “blackout” for Maryland game denied by Littlepage due to attempts to prevent students from attempting the “Fourth Year Fifth.”

London seen on bus whistling tune to “London Bridges” early Wednesday morning. Offering to pay for repairs to Beta Bridge if bridge is renamed.